Healing from narcissistic abuse may first look impossible and you may think that you’ll be with those negative emotions and you’ll experience those negative emotions for life. Today I’d like to share with you an interview with Margaret, one of my clients who signed up after reading my articles on this medium community, who went from pain to thriving. You will enjoy and you will understand what’s possible for you once you have a right method and you’re committed in this healing journey.
- What made you decide to book in with me?
I read your articles on Medium and I was drawn to the fact that you understood narcissistic abuse.
To be honest it did not hurt that you were from Kenya- I felt you would relate better to my experiences since we come from the same country.
From a price point, I knew your pricing services would be something I could afford.
2. What was happening in your life at the time you decided?
My life felt like one step forward and two steps back.
I was re-traumatized by recent events. An abusive ex-partner had sued me for child custody after having me evicted from the house I had lived in with my daughter for 4 years. He had also filed a different case claiming we had never been married.
My contract at the NGO I worked at from November 2020 hadn’t been renewed.
My thoughts were looping around a lot I would replay the past and wish for it to be different. I was tired and not making progress on my writing or running habit
I was dependent on painkillers and used tea to soothe my emotions a lot.
I desperately longed for life to get better.
3. Explain your problem in detail. (how did it feel, what was it like to have the problem, how was life for you having this problem, how long had you had it for
From the year 2010 I have lived with the effects of intimate partner violence- I was angry, tired, anxious and very sad a lot of the time. I would start-stop romantic relationships- excited at the meeting time then the relationship would fizzle out in less than 3 months.
I found it hard to concentrate without music or food to soothe my emotions.
I felt worn out, broken and hopeless.
4. How had you tried to fix it in the past? Why do you think the way you tried failed?
I had gone for talk therapy which would help for a bit. But after some time I would find myself in another situation that threw me back to trauma and feeling stuck.
I think I was stuck because I did not create a future plan- the process was focused on rehashing the past and dealing with what came up day by day.
I did not have a moving forward plan.
5. What were your thoughts of coaching (mind shifting) before you came and seen me
I had a lot of doubts about mind shifting. I hadn’t heard about it before and my Google searches did not yield any results.
6. How would describe the entire experience with me (in detail)
The first session stood out the most. It was brutal. It was painful. It was scary. A lot of the times during the session I wanted to stand up and walk away. We revisited the most painful memories and I felt I was drowning in a deep dark ocean with no one to save me I cried a lot in the first week and had a heaviness in my heart. The flashbacks were crushing- they appeared suddenly, without a warning. I often felt I could not handle the emotions they brought up.
The process got easier with time. I stopped feeling the urge to stand up and walk away mid- session.
While I didn’t cry, I was able to witness each memory with empathy and grace for myself. I felt more compassion and love towards what I had been through.
7. How do you feel now after the sessions?
What I found interesting in the first week was how deep I was sleeping. I am an early riser but I started waking up at 11 am. I would not wake up at night even when I had the flashbacks.
I found I lost the craving for tea. I’d wake up and drink water instead and have my first cup of tea later in the day.
The best part was being able to run without music. I did not need to carry my phone with me to listen as I ran.
I stopped feeling the urge to meditate and journal when I woke up. Instead, I’d have some water, open my laptop and get straight to work.
As I worked, I lost the need to check my phone or read my email in between writing sessions.
I feel a lot more sense of control over my emotions. I used to dread a relapse into depression that I wouldn’t be able to fully recover from.
I was frustrated by the lack of progress towards the life I wanted. I longed to be financially independent, to be able to attend more marathons, to smash my running goals. I wanted to talk to my daughter about the abuse without feeling guilt and shame.
And I deeply desired an intimate joyous relationship with a man who loves, respects and cherishes me.
8. When you think about your life now, what are you most looking forward to?
Everything. Suddenly everything seems more possible. I am not hijacked by the memories anymore- they appear, I witness them and continue with the work I was doing.
I am calm and I no longer have fear that I won’t move forward with the plans I set for myself.
9. What would you say to people who are putting off fixing their problems and frustrations in life?
Take the leap of faith. There is help out there- it might feel like you will never get better and this is your fate. But that is not true. Trust that there is a solution to what you’re facing.
While the healing process is not easy, it is better to deal with than the pain of the past and the worry of an uncertain future.
You deserve to live a life of happiness, prosperity and calm
10. What was the most important thing for you in achieving success with your session/s with me
Surrender. I felt a physical letting go of the resistance. After that I was able to embrace and accept the process.
Thank you, hope you’ve enjoyed this wonderful interview. All responses are straight from the clients (with no edits). If you’d like to be a success story, just book in a free breakthrough call with me here and if I can be of help I’ll show you how (there is no guarantee on specific results or outcomes from services as there are many variables that will impact your success). I will be sharing more of this ++ my fails also so that it can show you what’s possible when healing from abuse and demystify some of the myths cycling around with regards to healing from abuse. It will also be helping me grow my skills and improve my clients’ transformations.
Happy healing!!
